struggling

You guys. It's sunny outside. For real. AND WARM. It's like bonus day. Not like bogus day when it looks bright and sunny and you step out, lured by the rays and the yellow and the sunniness, only to be stricken by cold. Bitter, freezing, tooth-achingly cold.

No! It's not that at all!

So I'm sitting here at my desk, in the middle of the afternoon --

[blah blah Emma's spring break, going to daycare, which means I get to work four full days this week and next, Fridays off for lounging working on culminating project for graduation]

-- and it occurred to me that there is so much I've been wanting to tell you.

You know how I have two names? And it makes me feel like I totally live this double life? I'm really feeling that double life thing right now.

Carolyn is a mom, wife and library school student slacker, who goes to work every day and comes home and watches TV and doesn't do her homework.

But Nina... well. For the past month or so, Nina has been slyly creeping back into a world she thought she'd left behind: the scrapbooking world. Once occupied only by Mormons and soccer moms, the scrapbooking world has changed quite a bit since Nina was last in it. Well, there's still a lot of talk about journaling and embellishments but now there's the Internet (please say that in your head with a big booming voice). Nina has discovered a virtual crafty world that is filled with such amazing stuff, she's actually considering dusting off her sewing machine. Gasp!

I am consumed by this stuff. It's so... sparkly... and pretty... and wow. Okay, not ALL of it. I mean, there's a fair amount of crap out there too. But every day I see at least five new things that make me smile. And that's a lot.

So I've made a deal with myself: finish the schoolwork and then I can start this new thing. No crafting, no scrapping, no sewing, nothing, until it's done. Which, frankly, is making me miserable. I daydream all the time about colors and shapes and paper textures and wall paints. And I'm hoping that the misery will translate into motivation.